Wednesday, March 12, 2014

President's Comic: continued & concluded

On the way up Mount McKinley, they see a whole bunch of Teddy Bear ROSES (Teddy Roosevelt). It’s really cold on the top of the mountain -- the wind is blowing such a DRAFT (William Taft) that they get the shaky shaky WILLIES (Woodrow Wilson) and they start to HARDEN (Warren Harding) into ice because they’re so COOL (Calvin Coolidge). They pull out their HOOVER (Herbert Hoover) vacuum cleaner to try to warm themselves up, but it doesn’t work, so they head back down the mountain, again passing the ROSE bush which now has pictures of Ben Franklin on it (Franklin D. Roosevelt) and is the biggest rose bush they've ever seen (FDR had the longest presidency).

They get down to the bottom of the mountain and the parade has been joined by a TRUE MAN (Harry Truman) and he has these huge EYES (Dwight D. Eisenhower). The parade is also joined by Barbie and her handsome, but false man -- KEN (John F. Kennedy). Kennedy was assassinated, so he was followed by a JOHNSON (Lyndon B. Johnson), who has lots of NIX (Richard Nixon) on his face.

They all get on a FORD (Gerald Ford) tractor, which is followed by a CART (Jimmy Carter) full of RAGgedy Anns and RAGgedy Andys (Ronald Reagan)*
The cart tips over in front of a BUSH (George H.W. Bush) that gets hacked down by CLINT Eastwood (Bill Clinton), but another BUSH (George W. Bush) grows up in its place, so Clint Eastwood gets really mad and shouts out, “Oh BUMMER!” (Barack Obama).




*I didn’t make this up; I think “Raggedy Ann” to help you remember Reagan is a pretty bad stretch.

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